


Gang Wars: Eito Strikes Back

by panpipe



Category: Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-06
Updated: 2008-04-06
Packaged: 2017-10-13 03:45:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panpipe/pseuds/panpipe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanjani8 are your typical high school gang, except for the fact that they don't do much of anything that's gangworthy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gang Wars: Eito Strikes Back

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://panpipe.livejournal.com/64783.html#cutid1). Thanks to [unrequitedangst](http://archiveofourown.org/users/unrequitedangst/) for the beta and the hand holding.

_00._

Ohkura and Yasu are cops now, and the rest of Kanjani8 still finds it hard to believe. After all, it wasn't too long ago that they were the kids the cops chased after, the ones who were always suspected of whatever crime was being committed.

They liked to cut class a lot, and that made them the school's #1 suspect when anything went wrong. It's sort of funny, because really, Kanjani8 never did anything suspicious at all--the reason they started skipping class was because Uchi's mom was sick and in the hospital, and they didn't want him taking care of her alone. Ryo's bleached blonde hair and Subaru's skull tattoo didn't really help their image, though.

Once they realized they'd been branded as delinquents, they decided to take advantage of it. Subaru took up smoking--well, okay, he didn't actually smoke, but he lit the cigarette and pretended; it scared away most of the underclassmen--and every Friday night they would head out to the park and try to make some extra cash. This mainly involved Ryo dressing up as an elementary school student and crying a lot--concerned mothers would stop by and give him cash for a cab fare home.

 

 _01._

One day Yoko tells them that they're not a true gang if they don't have any _gang territory_ , so they buy cans of spraypaint, each a different color--yellow for Ryo, lavender for Hina, green for Ohkura, so on and so forth--and they paint an "8" on a wall somewhere, only they're sort of lazy and not really thinking about it, lying on the floor; the "8" gets painted as an infinity sign and they don't even notice until they hear talk on the streets of a new infinity gang floating around. Yoko says something in English would sound cooler, so the next time they spraypaint an infinity sign, they write "EITO" in katakana underneath it.

Ohkura starts adding little butterflies beside his "8" and suddenly there's talk on the streets that the Butterfly Lord is the leader of the gang. Ohkura's sort of unnerved about it, but he really likes butterflies; plus, Yasu told him that he shouldn't change himself just because someone thinks he's weird or confuses him for a bloodthirsty gang leader.

 

 _02._

The truth is, Uchi has been obsessed with cheerleading since he was little. He's really good at it too, so when high school starts, he forces Yasu to try out for the team with him.

Uchi makes it and Yasu doesn't, and Yasu bursts into tears.

 

 _03._

It's three weeks later and Uchi is head cheerleader--not in name, but certainly in the eyes of all the other girls. Perhaps it had been his icy stare. Or the way he held his head higher than all the other girls. Or the way the team had found the cheerleader who'd insulted Yasu the most with a bloody nose and broken arm the day after tryouts. Whatever it was, when he says that Yasu needs to be on the team, Yasu is suddenly on the team.

Uchi smiles.

 

 _04._

When Uchi is caught drinking underage on a school-sponsored cheerleading trip, he's quickly suspended from all extra-curricular activities, and it's like the team heaves one great, big, collective sigh of relief. Yasu quits the next day, shrugging and saying that it's not any fun without Uchi-kun there.

The day after that finds them loitering in the park near the school, and Uchi is kicking soda cans ferociously across the soccer field. No one dares approach him, save for Ryo, who merely brings him more soda cans to kick.

It's then that Uchi suggests their first real outing as a gang.

Everyone stares blankly back. Yasu turns to Ohkura and whispers, "Tacchon, what do gangs do?"

Ohkura's face turns even blanker than it was before. "..." he says.

Yasu just stares more intently, and now the rest of Kanjani8 are waiting to see how he'll react. "Er... I think..." They continue to stare, and he clears his throat. "I think they just try to act tough. Assert their power."

They keep staring.

"I guess we could try to sell drugs or something," he suggests weakly.

Everyone starts laughing, and suddenly Uchi doesn't have that murderous look in his eyes anymore, and he gathers up all the soda cans and deposits them in the recycling bin. They don't actually do anything ganglike that afternoon; they just go back to Uchi's house and let his mom bake them a pie, even though she was recently discharged from the hospital. She'd insisted on baking them something though, and really, how could they refuse a free meal?

Ryo stares at her breasts, and Uchi glares until Ryo realizes she has a face.

 

 _05._

When they start to hear wind of a gang taking over the edges of their territory, Hina orders a meeting in the park.

"We have to protect our territory," he says seriously. "We aren't a real gang if we can't defend our territory. So I think we should send a few people in to infiltrate it."

The others stare nervously. He coughs, then continues.

"I've heard some rumors that this other gang is really picky about who joins it," and then he coughs again, even more awkwardly.

There's a long pause until Maru interrupts and asks, "What do you mean by that?"

"You er," he says, fumbling a little over his words. "Well, they're all really attractive. So er, I think that Ryo and Uchi should join the gang and report their activities to us."

"I'd be a better undercover operative!" Maru shouts, and Yoko echoes his sentiments.

Hina shifts uncomfortably on his feet before saying, "Who wants pie? I think I still have some leftovers from the last time Uchi's mom baked."

 

 _06._

The other gang, NewS, accepts Ryo and Uchi into the group without much fuss. They're already a rather motley group, but Yamapi quickly becomes good friends with Ryo, and since Ryo likes Uchi, Yamapi supposes he has to like Uchi enough to let him into the gang as well.

It doesn't take more than a few days to realize, however, that the comraderie Kanjani8 have experienced is sadly lacking in NewS. When Ryo asks Yamapi why none of them seem to really care about each other, Yamapi becomes angry, and starts ranting about his foster father, "Uncle Johnny". "He wanted me to carry on the tradition," Yamapi says, frustration clear in his tone. "He picked out who would be in the gang and then told me to make it work."

Yamapi's eyes look hollow, like he's not sure this will ever work. He looks like he wants to run away, but instead he just slaps Ryo on the shoulder and asks him if he wants to graffiti another bridge.

 

 _07._

It's been three weeks, and Kanjani8 still hasn't gotten rid of NewS, for varying reasons. Ryo says, "Well, a few of them are growing on me." Uchi tells them, "They actually shoplift on purpose," and shrugs, continuing with, "it's sort of fun."

Eventually, Kanjani8 decides that NewS isn't really much of a threat. Well, actually, they decide they _are_ a threat, considering the fact that they singlehandedly disbanded the other gang in the area, Ya Ya Yah, without much of a fuss. No one has ever mentioned quite how they managed it, and Kanjani8 is sort of afraid to know. Ryo and Uchi are strangely tight-lipped on the manner.

 

 _08._

Prom. _Prom_. Kanjani8 has had to hear about it endlessly for the past month or so because Uchi and Yasu won't stop talking about it--who is going with who, who ditched who, what everyone will be wearing. Ryo wants to vomit. Uchi and Yasu, despite getting kicked off the team, have suddenly become quite friendly with the cheerleaders. (One of the girl's boyfriends had been "an asshole," as Uchi called him in his kinder moments, and Uchi had gathered the gang together to scare him off. It's amazing what a few guys with bad teeth, bleached hair, and messy school uniforms can do to intimidate a person. Anyway. Now Uchi, Yasu, and the squad are all best friends. Uchi and Yasu like it because they can discuss the finer things in life--clothes, gossip, etc--and the squad likes it because now they have instant protection from anyone who would ever bother them, via Kanjani8's terrifying presence.)

"We need to go to Prom," Uchi says one afternoon. No one is surprised by this announcement, but they'd been hoping to avoid it all the same.

Yoko stares at him, then raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"WE HAVE TO GO TO PROM," Uchi shouts. Then he looks a bit shocked at his outburst, clears his throat and says, "We need to go to prom. Right, Yasu?" Yasu nods vigorously. "Ne, Ryo-chan?"

Ryo's mocking smile suddenly changes to a look of panic. If he says yes--well that pleases Uchi, but also leaves him open to humiliation. It's a difficult decision.

Maru saves him from having to answer, however. "YEAH," he shouts. "LET'S CRASH PROM. TEKISASU!!!"

No one bothers to ask what Texas has to do with anything; they are, after all, quite used to Maru's outbursts. Also, one time they asked him about it and he looked really offended, and pointed at his orange sweatshirt. "THIS IS TEKISASU," he said. "LOOK AT THE AWESOME LONGHORN." He'd spent the rest of the week making some strange symbol with his fingers and shouting, "HOOK 'EM" in their faces.

No one really wants a repeat of that episode.

 

 _09._

They spend about an hour at prom. A hush falls over the room as they enter, and then the cheerleaders animatedly chat up Uchi and Yasu while the others stand around awkwardly. Then Subaru takes a drink from the bottled water he carries around--his immune system is very sensitive, thank you very much, he can't drink just _any_ water--and that's when the principal charges toward them and expells them from prom for underage drinking. It doesn't matter that Subaru explains it's _just water, he's very sensitive_ ; the principal has never cared for their explanations. Not even that time Yasu was in the hospital for getting his appendix out.

Uchi spends the rest of the night moping. Yasu's condition is only _slightly_ above that of a kicked puppy. Ohkura pins a wildflower on Yasu's shirt, says, "Here, have a boutinniere," and Yasu looks at him with a strange expression, a mixture of happiness, confusion, and, well, tears, and then starts bawling into Ohkura's shirt. Ohkura blinks, and then hugs him back awkwardly.

Uchi just snarls and then insists on "borrowing" all the condoms from every convenience store in the area. If he can't have fun at prom, neither can anyone else.

 

 _10._

It's finally [graduation](http://i28.tinypic.com/r0y1pu.png) day, and Hina's not really sure how they managed to get here. He thinks the school just wants to get rid of them, and Ryo tells him that that's probably the truth. Yasu is trying to be positive, and says it's because they've all earned it, though he does give Yoko and Maru skeptical looks. They work late night construction jobs so they can support their equally large families--both have eight siblings--and it's a rare occasion when they show up to more than three classes per week.

When they get their diplomas, they all go to the park. Uchi contemplates burning his diploma, but stops when Ryo informs him that he might need it later on, and he's not sure the school will willingly issue him another.

They sit around in silence until Maruyama asks where they think they'll work now. "I think I'll start working in my family's restaurant during the days, and keep up the construction at night," he offers.

Ryo sighs. "I think Uncle Johnny wants me to keep working some jobs for him."

Uchi nods. "Me too." They both give each other A Look which seems to be mixed with anticipation, horror, and dread, and the rest of Kanjani8 are afraid to ask just what, exactly, a "job" is.

Hina says he'd like to try his hand at cooking school, and Yoko says he's going to become a comedian. Subaru says someone offered him a job as a bouncer. "They told me I had a great stare. The look of a bouncer." He shrugs. "At least it'll pay the rent, right?"

It's Ohkura's turn to announce his plans, and they turn to look at him. He gulps. He'd been hoping they could avoid this conversation, but it seems inevitable now. "I er," he says.

Yasu takes over, and cheerily announces, "WE'RE GOING TO BE COPS."

 

 _00._

The others had stared in shock at the announcement, but they've gotten used to it now. When Ohkura and Yasu first went through police training, Ryo and Uchi had avoided them--something about how Uncle Johnny wouldn't like them hanging around _cops_ \--but then they eventually start showing up with homemade bentos after Yasu and Ohkura get out of class.

The first time they'd appeared, Ryo had smirked. "I can't believe you're still going to _school_. What are you, masochists?"

And even though Kanjani8 tease them endlessly, Ohkura knows they've accepted it, and are even a little proud of what Ohkura and Yasu are doing. (They did laugh themselves silly though, when one afternoon, Ohkura showed up at Hina's apartment, with a crazy expression on his face. "Today they mentioned that the Butterfly Lord was their biggest unsolved case. The only gang leader they've never been able to find any sort of evidence on.")

And when it's time to take the police exam, Ohkura thinks that maybe things will change, and Kanjani8 will never be the same--but then when he leaves the examination room, there they all are, with a banner that says, "THE BUTTERFLY LORD RULES" and he knows he can never leave them. They're a fungus, and well, he actually rather likes them that way.


End file.
